01.24.14 @ 11:27 PM
I cried today for the first time in 3 months
and I was so glad, because I thought that I was broken
maybe something is wrong with me
- Me: Are you alright?
- Friend: Define alright
"i miss you more than the sun and the stars but i don’t know if you’re still out there. i know you’re more important now and that you must be brighter, after all this time to heal you must feel better. after running away from everything the weight must have lifted off of your chest. you don’t shine for me anymore, the frequency has turned. i’m swimming in the ocean, i missed that last left. my ears kept ringing. the bridge gave out, you’ve missed all of these things.
I’ve spent a total of 46 days in the hospital since you left me. two weeks the day after. I’m falling apart and i never told and and now you’re so strong and important. I’m worthless and frail and my body is being destroyed from the inside out and i’m tired of getting fluids drained from my skull and chest and i i’m tired of the antibiotics and tests and i fucking.. none of it matters to me. it’s all just a distraction, a slap on the back to dull the pain in my throbbing chest, in my throbbing head. i’m lost with no where to go, 984 miles. 984 miles. I miss you and i’m dying and neither of those things matter when you’re completely alone."
you dont even talk to me anymore
the least you could do is answer
Sometimes, I forget that you have your own life too